Subscribe
Add to Technorati Favourites
Add to del.icio.us
Selasa, 13 April 2010

My Trip to Bandung

Diposting oleh gregorius in paragraph writing

I had an interesting trip when the graduation's holiday by going to Bandung with my best friends. We planned to spend about three days there. To save our money, we used business train to Bandung. There was so many food and drink vendors coming into the train. They shouted the food that offered for sale. Their shouted were so funny, like mijon-mijon, palapi (that's the kind of beverages), tararahuu tararahuu (that's mean tahu), etc. That made us laughed.

About at five in the morning, we arrived in Bandung. We went straight to my uncle's house to take the key of our house to be occupied along we were in Bandung. It also to save our money, from the railway station to my grandma's house, we didn't use a taxi, but we used public transportation, people usually call it 'angkot'. We were confused when we were looking for angkot. However, after asked the people around, finally we knew that we had to use St.Hall-Gede Bage Green's angkot. After that, because my uncle's house was in Riung, we continued to take angkot to Dago. We needed about an hour from the railway station to my uncle's house, and only spent around five thousand rupiahs. Fortunately, we didn't get lost on the way.

We took a rest for a while at my uncle's house, and then we headed to my aunt's unused house. The distance between my uncle's house and my aunt's house wasn't too far, just about ten minutes. After we arrived in my aunt's house, we were getting ready for a walk. We didn't want to waste the time. The first day in Bandung, we only had time to go to 'Sate Building'. Because we didn't know the way in Bandung, we could just around the same road. We stopped for several times to ask people, but we still got lost and finally we bought a map of Bandung. Fortunately, we reached Sate Building. The scenery was so beautiful - the typical buildings adorned with orange sky above. We didn't waste that opportunity. We took some pictures and then went home.

In the second day, we spent our time in CiWalk or Cihampelas Walk. You must know what CiWalk is, right? There, we just walked around, took some photos and watched a movie in the XXI Theatre. We watched 'UP' film. It was so funny, our stomachs were sick because we laughed too much. After that, we continued to go to the Asia Africa building to get a good photo spot. We came at night so there wasn't too crowded and we weren't shy to pose. I thought that it was still evening, but actually it was midnight. We got hurried to go home.

In the third day, it was time to get some stuff. From the morning we had prepared for a walk because at night we would back to Yogyakarta. That day we went to the Riau's street. There were so many factory outlet lined. As you know Bandung is Paris van Java, central of fashion. So, there are many clothing shop that offer the up to date clothes. From 10 am till 6 pm, we kept hunting clothes; we traced the Riau's street by foot. I was so tired on that day.

And on 7 pm, we went back to Yogyakarta by train. I felt hard to leave Bandung, but it was replaced by the precious experiences that we have got while in Bandung. It was the most interesting trip that I ever had. I won't to forget that. I hope, I can do this again with my best friends.

2 komentar:

shin mazinger mengatakan...

your trip, huh?
eheh..

niayu risma mengatakan...

They shouted the food that offered for sale.

Hi, Gregorius...
Well, I'm back to your blog now..because I wanna see your writing..
Oh, yeah if you still forget.. I'm risma, your teacher of past narrative..
Remember me, right..

That was nice trip in Bandung. And was that your first time in Bandung..? Cause from your writing, I see that you had your difficulty to find the area..

Well, lets move on on your writing..
From your writing, I see that you had a good orderer.
The good orderer here means that you classified your writing in the time that you mentioned in your orientation (you had three days spent out)
so, one paragraph for first day, another just for second day, and last for third day.
so, I can see your style that you made the general information about your events in your first sentence (time and place).


And actually, this can make you or your friends easy to find the main idea of every paragraph, so they are not difficult to see your writing... for example the main idea on your first day : "the first day in Bandung, we only had time to go to 'Sate Building'."

And then, the main idea for your 4th paragraph : "In the second day, we spent our time in CiWalk or Cihampelas Walk."

And then for your main idea in fifth paragraph you had "In the third day, it was time to get some stuff."

So, you begin with the general one then move to specific one.
That's good...

I also have some comment for you grammar..
And let me show it to you

1. "It also to save our money" (par 2)
I think you missed the verb, right..
The word "it" did not have verb "is"..
So, you r sentence must be # It is also to save our money.#
Why use "is"?
Cause " to save" here as the object of noun, not as verb. Therefore you should use "is"

2. " After asked the people around, finally we knew that we had to use St.Hall-Gede Bage Green's angkot."
This sentence is the active sentence, right..
So if it is active, use "asking" instead of "asked" because "asked" is used in a passive sentence.
Moreover in your event, you asked people, not people asked you.
If the context is you asked the people, the sentence should be # After asking the people around...#
or # After we asked the people around...#
You used " After asked the people around..." if the people asked you..
Get what I mean..? @^^@

3 "we could just around the same road" (par3)
The mistake was same to the number one that you should have verb. The verb here is " go" before the word " go around".
So, the sentence must be # we could just go around the same road.#

3. "many factory outlet"
Still remember, right that "many" is used fro countable plural noun.
So, it must be # many factory outlets#

4. "many clothing shop that offer "
The mistake was same to the number 3, lack of "s " as plural noun..and you forget to use v2 in "offer".
so, it should be # many clothing shops that offered#

Okay, Gregorious.. that's all from me..
I hope you know what I had explain to you.
I hope you have another nice trip in Bandung anymore..

Come to my blog if you still have a question about it..
Bye..bye..bye..Greg...

Posting Komentar